This morning, my mom got a call on her phone and there was this split second that I knew it was the nursing home that it was about dad. I saw the look on my mom’s face and just for a moment my heart stopped. I started thinking that something bad happened to him and that he ended up in the hospital. Well, I was half right. It was the nursing home and it was about my dad. He did end up in the hospital, but my mom said that they just needed to change his feeding tube. Once I heard that I could finally breathe again.
When we get calls like that, it screws me up because I always think that they’re gonna call someday and say that he’s not ok that he’s in the hospital and that he’s not gonna make it.It reminded me of the times when I was younger and my dad would end up in the hospital after falling down the stairs and hurting his arm or when he would fall in the bathroom and he hurt his arm and the ambulence came to my house. That scared the crap out of me! Every time I’d see him walk down the stairs, I’d watch and pray that he wouldn’t fall. It was pretty intense.
So, while all of this was spinning through my mind, I took a moment just a tiny moment of my time, took a deep breath in let it out slowly and shut my eyes ever so gently and prayed. That’s it that’s all I did and ya know what? it worked! I feel so much better now! He listened to me, he heard my prayers and helped me through this and I know that my dad will be ok because my mom is gonna be there with him. I also think its great because it was just his feeding tube that they need to fix. It could’ve been something worse like pneumonia, he’s been hospitalized with that before so I’m so happy that it wasn’t that. Did you know that lots of people with HD end up with pneumonia? So, maybe just maybe God’s been looking out for my dad all along. I’m glad my dad is ok and that’s enough for me.
So here’s a poem that I’ve written. I feel like expressing myself right now through the written word:
Prayer, it changes, it heals, it inspires, it feels
it makes the unreal real
I’ve prayed when times seemed to fail
Life may not make sense or may fall apart
But, with prayer and God in my heart I know I can do anything!
Life is not easy, its crazy, unfair, it drags us down, makes you think twice
But there is hope, the kind of hope that lives right inside of us
HD you have taken much from my life, my family, my dad, my grandpa, my aunt
But you cannot stop me from living the life I was always meant to live
So, I will not let this hinder, or hurt me at all
I brush it off with love and healing and compassion
And instead live a life of faith
I know God is with me right now and also too with my dad and my mom
He’s watching out for them, with guardian angels by their side
I know things may not always go the way I want,
But I know in my heart that God is with me and that is all I need
Its all I need to have peace in my heart once again
To rest and relax knowing that he’s here with me
As I pray this simple prayer within my heart
You wanna know what gets me through?
Its prayer, prayer in the simplest of ways,
Just to say thanks to God for listening to me
For giving me faith and giving me strength,
The strength I need to get through the day
And that my friends is all I need to stand up once again & face all of these things.
-By Paula Martin