Purpose

Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about my purpose, my reason for why I’m here in this world, why I’m doing this blog in the first place why I write why God put me here? I know it was for a reason I can feel it in my heart, but other times it just feels so out of reach somehow, like I’m still trying to figure out what that really is.That’s life though. I’m only 26 years old, but I’ve been through a lot. It’s amazing that I’m still standing here today, there are so many times I could’ve given up, quite, thrown in the towel. I did do that a lot, but lately, I’ve been seeing the world through a different colored pair of eyes, one that is full of light and hope, when before while growing up I only saw things through darkness, bitterness, and pain, and hopelessness.

It was pretty bad, but the one thing that got me through the one thing that kept me going was God. I’m not ashamed to say it its just true. He’s the reason why I’m still sitting here the reason why I keep going because he gives me purpose in my life he gives me a reason to keep going even when things seem to be going wrong. He always gives me a new sense of dignity a purpose a reason to keep going. My whole life the one thing that I have always been good at is coming up with stories, I daydreamed a lot and came up with some silly short stories I never imagined it would bring me here, to this moment where I’m actually writing this blog, another blog about my dog Cinnamon, and where I’ve been writing my first novel. Its a dream come true! I never thought I’d ever get to this moment, I felt so stuck so lost, sinking deeper and deeper in a  black hole with no way out. That light that surges through me now, is why I write.

Lately, I think the one thing i have to remember and keep to heart is that writing is my passion its a part of who I am, so I’m going to keep doing it no matter what! That is the reason I get up every morning so exited to bring on the day, its because I write to give myself a voice, to speak out and share what I truly feel in my heart, that spurs me that keeps me going because in a world where I never felt comfortable expressing myself I could do it through my writing. That is where I feel the most alive, when I’m writing a short story, this blog, my funnydogmoments blog, and also my first young adult novel that I’ve been writing called Grace, that is where I feel like I can let the words flow out through my fingers and turn it into some inspiring story to share with the world.

Writing though isn’t my only passion its not the only thing I love to do, I love music too so of course my day consists of singing my lungs out to some songs on the radio or sometimes I even sing Christian music. It’s uplifting and fun to listen to. I also feel like there’s another side of me, the one about Huntington’s Disease, the one I’ve always had a hard time sharing with people. So just know that there are tons of different passions to persue. I also have a passion for reading. I love books I always have and I always will. There’s just something about turning the pages of a good book and not being able to put it down. That feeling you get when you really get into the characters lives and want to know if they live or die. its an amazing feeling! Reading is something that I’ve loved doing since I was a kid. I just loved sitting around at night reading all types of childrens’ books, such as Dr. Seuss, Brown Bear Brown Bear, Amelia Badellia, The Very Hungry Catepillar, and my all time favorite,   and also in 4th grade I’d like to make a shout-out to one of my favorite teachers Mr Razo who truly gave me my love of books. He introduced me to The Harry Potter books and all of the best Caldacot winner books and Newbery Award Winners, such as The Giver, Holes, Number the Stars, and so on and so on. Those stayed in my heart forever, which later inspired me to want to write one of my own books. Now, I still read many different types of books, but I have recently just been focusing on dystopian novels, sci-fi,  fantasy,  books turned into movies, and also young adult. I love those types of books they’re so thrilling and they always have something to say about the world around us. Some of my favs are  1984, the Invisible Man, Farenheight 451, The Fault in Our Stars, The Perception Trilogy, The Divergent, Maze Runner, and The Book Thief.

Reading in turn helps with my writing and was something good I had in my life something positive even though I had been going through HD, these types of books taught me that it was fun to read, to have a good imagination, to speak my mind, and to do what I loved and to stand up for what I believed in and that life would get better. I have taken all that I’ve learned from some of my favorite novels and writing tips online into the things that I write and it works. Sometimes when I’m done writing it blows my mind about how far I’ve come. I am still in those beginning writing stages of my life where not everything is good and its not always my best writing, but I’m getting it out there and one day very soon I know in my heart that I’m going to finish my novel, rewrite it and rewrite it til it’s done have it edited and then have it self-published online. I can’t wait!

Life is too short so I’m living out my dreams now, don’t ever wait to find your purpose your reason for living. Follow out your dreams and with a lot of hard work and dedication you too can be happy doing what you love! It’s not about money ok! Just do what you love and do it now and just know that it is never too late to start out and living out your dreams! Just have faith it will work out, maybe not when you think it will, but in God’s timing it will work out just when you need it most. Sometimes all it takes is a lot of patience and a lot of persistance, but if it’s what you really want in life, if its what you are meant to do, then isn’t it worth it just to try it out!

Hopefully one day, there won’t be any HD anymore until then, I’m going to stay hopeful and not give up no matter what. There is always light in the midst of darkness all you have to do is find it. Until then, I feel like I have a renewed sense of purpose in this world now, I don’t feel as lost anymore,  I pray every single day for my family, my dad, and all the other HD warriors out there who are still battling this disease themselves. I feel happier, lighter, and again its all thanks to God. Without him I would be lost! Remembering that my purpose, my reason for being on this earth is to share my story with others through writing is my gift.  I hope this story, this blog post helps at least one person out there struggling with these things.

One of my favorite quotes, that I have posted up in my house right now is:

“Keep looking up!”

I dare you all to do that! Keep looking up keep going there is a reason why you are all here and if you find it run with it because that is what God intended you to do with your life. He wants you to find who you really are and to be happy doing what you love!  Remember, whatever your purpose is try it out I assure you God is right there with you every step of the way. He was there for me and he still is.

-Paula

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